Difficult Decisions

 In August I was diagnosed with a rare muscle disease called Inclusion Body Myositis or IBM. I started this year with a decision that I would take care of my health. For the last several years, I have taken care of my in-laws then my mom for the last 6 years. She passed away Christmas Eve. I have a lot of medical issues and so made the decision to have some much needed surgeries. I need both knees replaced as well as both shoulders. I have back issues also but not much I can do for that. 

I started the year with a horrible bout of vertigo. After a lot of testing, it was found that I will just have to live with that. It comes and goes. I then made a call to my orthopedic surgeon to set up surgery for my knees. Guess what? Covid struck. My appointment was put on hold. In the meantime, my shoulders began to get worse. I changed my mind from doing my knees to doing my shoulders first. A new date was set for my orthopedic appointment. As the appointment date approached, a new problem arose. Both hands were stricken with carpal tunnel as well as a trigger finger on both thumbs. My primary doctor arranged for me to have my hands tested for carpal tunnel just before my orthopedic appointment.

Because of Covid, the only doctor that would take me was in Spokane, Washington. He was a doctor that specialized in muscles. My test proved that I needed the carpal tunnel surgery but it also showed that I had a muscle disease. He was unsure what disease. The normal ones were ruled out but I needed a muscle biopsy to find out exactly what I had.

The end of August I got confirmation that my muscle disease was IBM. This disease will eventually take away my ability to walk, trouble with sitting to stand, losing use of my hands and arms, and most likely difficulty swallowing. It is normally not a fast acting disease. I have no idea how long I've had it but I feel that I am at the beginning of this illness.

I ended up having surgery on both hands and both thumbs. I am recovering from my left hand surgery. My next decision has been whether I will have my knee replacement surgery. I have known I've needed this surgery for years. I have tried everything to not have it. I've let every excuse get in my way. I have had a huge fear of this surgery for some reason. I know that if I am going to have this surgery, I need to do it right away. After discussing it with several doctors, I am now scheduled to have my left knee done the end of January. 

The biggest issue with knee replacement is that I will not be able to do many of the necessary exercises for a good recovery. I am never to use weights as they will destroy my muscles instead of building them up. This has been such a huge decision for me and I pray that it is the best decision for me. I pray that it goes well and that I will be able to have a few years without the knee pain before I completely lose the use of my legs. Unfortunately, there is no one that can reassure me that all will be well. The only thing I have is that I do want to be able to walk for even a couple of years without pain. That is what I wanted from the beginning of this year until now. 

I know that all decisions must be made with understanding and knowledge but I also believe in support from my Heavenly Father. I have faith that I will have His blessing and that I will be able to get through this surgery with His help. I know all decisions must be made with the help of the Holy Ghost and with a confirmation that Heavenly Father will be with me. I now am looking forward to January and preparing myself for this surgery. I am forever grateful for my Heavenly Father's blessings and know that the doctor finding this disease when he did was a huge blessing. I am forever grateful for the love of Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ. With this faith in them, all will be well.