Difficult Decisions

 In August I was diagnosed with a rare muscle disease called Inclusion Body Myositis or IBM. I started this year with a decision that I would take care of my health. For the last several years, I have taken care of my in-laws then my mom for the last 6 years. She passed away Christmas Eve. I have a lot of medical issues and so made the decision to have some much needed surgeries. I need both knees replaced as well as both shoulders. I have back issues also but not much I can do for that. 

I started the year with a horrible bout of vertigo. After a lot of testing, it was found that I will just have to live with that. It comes and goes. I then made a call to my orthopedic surgeon to set up surgery for my knees. Guess what? Covid struck. My appointment was put on hold. In the meantime, my shoulders began to get worse. I changed my mind from doing my knees to doing my shoulders first. A new date was set for my orthopedic appointment. As the appointment date approached, a new problem arose. Both hands were stricken with carpal tunnel as well as a trigger finger on both thumbs. My primary doctor arranged for me to have my hands tested for carpal tunnel just before my orthopedic appointment.

Because of Covid, the only doctor that would take me was in Spokane, Washington. He was a doctor that specialized in muscles. My test proved that I needed the carpal tunnel surgery but it also showed that I had a muscle disease. He was unsure what disease. The normal ones were ruled out but I needed a muscle biopsy to find out exactly what I had.

The end of August I got confirmation that my muscle disease was IBM. This disease will eventually take away my ability to walk, trouble with sitting to stand, losing use of my hands and arms, and most likely difficulty swallowing. It is normally not a fast acting disease. I have no idea how long I've had it but I feel that I am at the beginning of this illness.

I ended up having surgery on both hands and both thumbs. I am recovering from my left hand surgery. My next decision has been whether I will have my knee replacement surgery. I have known I've needed this surgery for years. I have tried everything to not have it. I've let every excuse get in my way. I have had a huge fear of this surgery for some reason. I know that if I am going to have this surgery, I need to do it right away. After discussing it with several doctors, I am now scheduled to have my left knee done the end of January. 

The biggest issue with knee replacement is that I will not be able to do many of the necessary exercises for a good recovery. I am never to use weights as they will destroy my muscles instead of building them up. This has been such a huge decision for me and I pray that it is the best decision for me. I pray that it goes well and that I will be able to have a few years without the knee pain before I completely lose the use of my legs. Unfortunately, there is no one that can reassure me that all will be well. The only thing I have is that I do want to be able to walk for even a couple of years without pain. That is what I wanted from the beginning of this year until now. 

I know that all decisions must be made with understanding and knowledge but I also believe in support from my Heavenly Father. I have faith that I will have His blessing and that I will be able to get through this surgery with His help. I know all decisions must be made with the help of the Holy Ghost and with a confirmation that Heavenly Father will be with me. I now am looking forward to January and preparing myself for this surgery. I am forever grateful for my Heavenly Father's blessings and know that the doctor finding this disease when he did was a huge blessing. I am forever grateful for the love of Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ. With this faith in them, all will be well.

My Book is LIVE!!!

I am so excited. After four years of writing, editing, and formatting this book, it is now available on Amazon. The name of the book is SUMMER AT HAPPY FARMS. It is about a 10 year old girl that has many life experiences while helping at her grandma's farm of miniature animals.

This is a great family book. Even though it is considered a children's chapter book (for ages 8-14), adults have found it refreshing and an enjoyable read. I hope you enjoy it.

This was quite the experience. I wrote the book quickly and loved what I wrote. I had my daughter-in-law (who is an editor) read it. She was very kind but let me know that it was in no way ready to publish. I rewrote it and got the same review. After reading her critique, I decided I needed to study writing. I spent a whole year reading and watching videos about how to write. I learned SO much.

The next step was editing. I purchased two editing programs and went page by page (word by word) and edited everything over and over (of course that meant some rewriting also which meant more editing). When I felt it was good enough, I gave it to my daughter-in-law for a final edit. Just a few mistakes!

During all of this process, I had been trying to decide on a name for the book and what to have for a book cover. Both were difficult. I hired four different people from Fiverr (a website that has freelance artists). The first and third tried to do cartoon type covers. The first canceled on me as she was pregnant and it became difficult for her. The third, well, her art was definitely not what I wanted. The second artist is who I finally went with. He did a whole scene but I ended up liking just the part that you see above.

The final step was to format my book. I am 72 and not that great with programs. I do not know why I was having such a mental block about formatting in MS Word, but it was there. I watched videos and read how to do it but my brain just didn't jive with what was being said. I asked my grandson to help me as well as a couple of other family members but most were too busy. In the end, I figured that the HELP section of Word became my best friend and I got it formatted.

I decided to self publish and chose Amazon as my tool (KDP). It's a very easy program to use. I had very little trouble understanding how to do things.

So, after 4 years of struggling, learning, and trial and errors, I finally published the book and it is now LIVE!!! I have it available in paperback and in Kindle format. If you decide you'd like to give this book a try, please leave a review.

I can't explain how exhilarating it is to accomplish something that you've thought about and worked on for so many years. I encourage anyone that has thought about doing something but put it off because they weren't sure of themselves, follow through. It is so worth it. 

Thank you for listing and I hope you will try my book and one way or another, I would love if you would write a review.

Writing a Book

For years I have loved to write. When I was very young, I wrote plays which my friends and I performed in my garage. As I got older, I wrote family histories and personal histories. When I was a young mother, I tried my hand at writing a book. Since then, I have written several books, none of which have sold even though I tried to sell a couple of them.

I wrote a book called The Mole Connection in the 70's. It was so exciting to express myself in a different way than ever before. It was about a young boy who lived in an orphanage. He desperately wanted to find out about his heritage. It had a strong ring of family history, my main love, but a little mystery too. I wrote it for my children. They hated reading so I tried to make it funny, emotional, exciting, all of those things to entice my kids to read. Unfortunately, it didn't inspire them any more than any other book.

I took the book out last year and read over it. WOW, what a mess. What I mean is, the writing needed so much editing. I was kind of embarrassed to read it. It's a good story though. I'm not sure kids of today would think so as it doesn't have any sci-fi weird things to it, but it does have a decent family feeling.

I wrote another book after The Mole Connection called Unspoken Secrets. That was another genealogy based book. It was about an older girl whose parents had passed away. She was cleaning out their house when she came upon some interesting information about her parents just after WWII. She followed the clues to find out more about her heritage. It took her to Japan along a twisty turn of events until she discovered the special secret that had been kept from her all of her life.

That book was much better written. I was happy with it but it still needs some editing and refining. I didn't write that for my family, instead, I wrote it for myself. I have this burning need inside of me to express myself and I do it much better in words than in conversation.

Last year I wrote another book. It is called The Best Summer Ever. I'm a grandma now. We live in a beautiful valley in North Idaho. I have started several books about this place. We own 80 acres along a beautiful river. Every summer some of my grandkids come to visit. Many of our grandkids live around us. This book is inspired by my five young granddaughters. The book is centered around the one that comes to visit. The book is fictional but based on family experiences. I have tried several times to get this book in print.

I have taken many online classes in writing and watched who knows how many u-tube videos on writing. My daughter-in-law writes and publishes a homeschool curriculum and has helped me to develop my understanding of writing and editing. She edited my final copy of the book. I then sent out queries to several agents to see if they would take me on as a client. To this date, none have agreed. I'm still waiting to hear from several.

I have investigated publishing it myself. I actually hired a couple of different people to make a cover picture for my book but neither one could fulfill my expectations. I have looked and studied the process of publishing through Amazon and will go that way if no one accepts me as a client. I know my daughter-in-law will help me but I am really trying to do this myself.

I am getting up there in years so it seems to be more difficult for me to learn these new programs. I also realize that most kids today want books about fantasy or love and adventure. My books are more family related. Good wholesome stories. I may never get published or kids may not like my style of story but I have fulfilled a love inside of me. My kids and grandkids will have a little something of me that I hope will give them a better insight as to who I am.

I'm not sure if anyone will read this but I do want to tell you a little about why I wrote my first book. I was very depressed. I was a young mother with several babies and very little money. I felt that there was nothing but work in my life. I'd lost the joy of living. I prayed and prayed for help. My help came in a very strange way. A lady at my church was teaching a class in oil painting and everyone was invited - no charge. I saw talented people all around me and was sure that I could not paint but I took the class anyway. What it did was open me up to new ideas. I loved painting and painted many pictures (none of which are that great). It gave me a feeling of confidence.

One night, about one in the morning, I woke with a thought of a book. My babies were sleeping so I went to my typewriter, we didn't own a computer in those days, and typed away. My excitement could not be curtailed. As soon as I got the kids down at night, I typed until midnight every night. We went camping and I took my portable typewriter with me and typed the entire time.

I was so proud when I finished that book. The Mole Connection was done! I had my mom read it and then my husband. When my husband read it, he had some critical remarks to say and it destroyed me. I was not prepared for negative thoughts. Now, I look back and understand why he said what he did but at the time, this was my masterpiece and he crushed it.

I put the book away and forgot about writing for many years. When I wrote my second book, I refused to let him or anyone else read it. Then I wrote this last book. I was so excited about it and let my mom and my husband read it. They were both so excited about it. I decided to let my daughter-in-law read it. I knew she would be honest and I felt ready this time to hear the criticism. Well, she read it to my son and grandkids in the car while they were on their way to visit us. My son had lots to say, none of it good. I talked to my daughter-in-law and got some great instruction on how to correct my problems. I re-wrote the book and submitted it to her again. It came back filled with red marks and tons of ways to improve my writing.

It was then that I decided to start studying writing. I read and watched everything I could about writing. How to have a clear voice, keep one point of view, be careful how many characters are introduced, the many pitfalls of new writers, etc. I spent several months studying. I then purchased a couple of editing programs. I re-wrote my book page by page using all of the techniques I had learned as well as refined everything with the editing programs. I read and reread my book. I put it aside for a few months and then reread and re-edited it again. I finally was ready for my daughter-in-law to do a final editing. This time, very few corrections were needed.

I know there is still so much to learn. I am starting on another book. I am going to re-write and edit my two earlier books. I don't know if anything I write will ever be sold but I love to write and will continue doing this for myself. I have never really dreamed of being an author. I just love to write. Yes, it would be awesome to see my word in print. It would give me that final feeling of success but I don't need it. I don't know how to say this where others would understand but my success is that I did this! I wrote several books! I learned and I grew. I learned to improve myself. I learned to accept criticism as it was the only way I could improve my writing skills. I learned to share my deepest feelings with others and know that I can withstand their thoughts about what I have done. I hope my story will inspire someone. I'm in my 70's and age is never a factor when it comes to improving ourselves.

Technology and an Old Lady

I have always loved technology especially in the computer world. Unfortunately, as we get older and all of this computer stuff gets newer, it seems that never the twain shall meet! I always prided myself on keeping up with the new computer programs especially in the field of genealogy. Well, I guess those days are quickly going - going - gone.

I turned 70 last year and still feel young but what I am finding is, I really don't want to keep up with this changing world. Before, I couldn't stand being left behind but now, I pick and choose what I want to learn and what programs I want to change. That old saying, : "If it ain't broke, don't fix it," that's where I am today.

I use two main programs in my researching - Ancestry and Family Search. Both programs have made doing family research almost boring because they tell you where and what you can find by just clicking a button. That is good in one respect but not in another. For me, I will stick to good ole research and proof to do my family history.

What I am finding wrong with these programs is that people today want things so easy that they don't care if what they find is right or wrong, they are told to click here and they do. They see their name so they think what they have found is right. They like this easy world of finding things and are not accustomed to seeking further. Who needs proof?  This is my family name and this is where they lived. So what that the information I found was ten years off or the children in this family don't quite match up to what someone else had. This is my family and I am done!

FamilySearch Tree is a  world wide tree. You don't have to be a member of the LDS faith to use this tree (and it's FREE). If you find a relationship, you just click to add yourself to that family line. It is wonderful - but not so wonderful. I have had so many people in just this last year link up my line to incorrect people. It causes huge problems. Other people will unknowingly come look at this family believing all of this to be correct when in fact, it's not.

I have an ancestor that was married to a Mary. They had five kids. All of a sudden I saw five more kids added to this family. I did the hard work and researched this family thoroughly and have proof that they only had five kids. Mary died in childbirth with her fifth child. Her husband married another lady by the name of Mary a year later. I had this info in notes but no one bothered to read those notes. All of a sudden, second Mary's kids from a previous marriage were now listed as full brothers and sisters to the first five. Never mind that some of the kids were close in age but obviously not twins and that they were born in different locations. No notes were included. Anyone else looking at this family might not realize this problem. With just a little bit of reading and possibly a little research to verify, the person who merged this family would have realized this mistake. But that takes work and time.

This situation is another reason why I use a stand alone program such as Roots Magic. I can (and always do) check my notes carefully before I contact the people that added/deleted/merged family members without documentation. I try to have complete documentation on every name in my file. If I can't prove something, I have a note to myself stating that I don't know where the info came from.

This also was helpful when a lady merged some parents to an ancestor. I did not have any info on the parents of this individual. I was excited when I saw the addition of his parents. There was one piece of documentation but it was about someone totally unrelated (even a different name). So I contacted the lady who submitted the parent's names. Come to find out, she didn't know why she added them. They were a way offshoot to her family line. She had no proof or any notes as to why she added them. Together we decided to unlink these parents until we got some proof.

I do love that we can see who does modify our work in any way so that we can communicate with them if necessary. One lady had my mom deceased, I guess because she was old. I contacted her and gave her the good news that my mom was alive and living with me! She turned 94 this year and is in great health.

Some technical changes are fun. There are fun apps to use on our phones that can tell us if relatives are near us. That helps us perk up some. I was teaching my granddaughter in a Sunday School class a few weeks ago and another girl said, "Hey, we are first cousins!"  I was surprised and when I got home, I checked the relationship only to find that yes, we do connect to the girl's mother's line but it is like five generations back. (A little misinformation) What it did do was excite my granddaughter. Maybe she will have an interest in family history. So far, none of my kids or grand kids show an interest so maybe some of these new programs will excite someone enough to follow in their grandma's footsteps. I just need to make sure that they understand the full meaning of family RESEARCH.

All in all, I do love technology and the new helps in family history but I do caution everyone, make sure that you do your RESEARCH and VERIFY what you find. Don't make changes on anyone's family tree without PROOF.

Mother's Day is around the corner

Don't forget to order your Mother's Day designs so you will have time to make that special gift for Mom. Come to our website and check out all of our fun designs....VINYL GIFTS AND MORE.

The hand print and saying is a fun gift for children to make and give to their mom. We send along easy directions. Using poster paint, make a print of the child's hand and when all is dry, spray a clear coat of varnish. Let that dry then apply the vinyl words. 

We have a variety of other designs suitable for mom. They range from actual  Mother sayings to hobbies and spiritually uplifting messages.

Taking care of Mom

Wow! I just realized that it's been ages since I last wrote. As with all of us, life takes us into different places.

About 4 years ago my mom had a stroke. I stopped everything in my life and went down to take care of her. She was lucky in that she had her stroke at a pharmacy which was located right next door to the fire station. They had her to the hospital within minutes and administered the stroke medicine. She lived in California and I live in North Idaho. The doctor called me and let me know what was happening. I was on a flight to Sacramento the next day.

I have a home business so I had to pack all of the business up into my suitcase (which was interesting in itself). My son is a pilot for a major airline so I was able to catch a flight easily. I was amazed at how everything went together so quickly for me. I was visiting her in the hospital the day after the stroke.

My mom lived alone and was almost 90 at the time of her stroke. I live with my husband. Four of my children live close and my daughter lives in Southern California. I had one brother at the time of my mom's stroke. He was housebound with illness. His wife picked me up from the airport and helped me get settled. My mom also has 1 step daughter that has been close to her but with physical problems of her own. In other words, I was the only one that could help my mom. No problem though as I have always been very close to her and love her dearly.

To make a long story shorter, I stayed with my mom for a couple of months then went home to be with my husband. She called and said she was ready to move to Idaho because she was too lonely there (she'd gotten used to being with me). So I returned to help her pack up a few things, clean out most of her house items and sell the house. It took a couple of months to get it all done. We moved her up to our house (we have a little cottage connected to our main house that we built for my husband's parents - who have now passed on).

My mom loves it here and is thrilled to be around so much family. We love having her here. She pretty much takes care of herself but does eat dinner with us and I check in on her many times during the day. My life has always been very different than hers and she has had to adjust but her age is making it easier for her to do so. She will be 94 in a couple of weeks.

As mush as I love my mom, there are difficulties. She does not drive and is wearing down. She still gets around using a cane but isn't that steady on her feet. He health is actually pretty good. She had to have some major surgery at the beginning of last year but that cleared up most of her problems. I am so grateful to have this time with her.

My biggest problem is that my husband and I really want to take a trip and feel that we can't really leave her here by herself. She doesn't want to be babysat and loves being in her own home as she rests a lot and loves having her own bathroom etc. We have been trying to come up with a plan as to how we can have someone here just in case something happens. I feel that she will be okay (once the snow leaves our place) as we have two sons on either side of us (we all live here on 80 acres). My husband is not so sure about leaving. I keep telling him that I can hop on a plane if there is a problem. He still is not so convinced. I know our daughters-in-law will be happy to check in on her and I would call several times a day.

My life has changed a lot since taking care of mom. I very rarely get to go out alone as I know she loves to get out and I know she needs to get out. My husband and I get some time together but again, we usually invite her along knowing how lonely it can be at home alone. Now my husband is plagued with a variety of illnesses and I have problems with knees, shoulders and back. I feel like we are an old folks home.

I took care of both of my in-laws up until their passing and have learned to be somewhat of a nurse. Taking care of all of us has resulted in a little bit of depression for me. I know the signs and try to pop out of it with a variety of activities (like puzzles and genealogy) but I am really ready to do something else but I can't. I kind of feel pushed and pulled. My husband really wants to go someplace too but he's the one that won't leave mom alone. She is 94 and could possible live several more years. My husband is almost 74 and I honestly don't know how long he will be around. He's had several major health issues that have been extremely close calls for him.

I knew the situation of taking care of parents as we did take care of my in-laws until their passing. They both had Parkinson's - he with the stiffening and her the regular. He was unable to take care of himself at all. He could not roll over or stand or anything. I had to get him out of bed, into a wheelchair, feed him, clean him, etc. She could take care of herself until the end but was frail and had broken her hip before she moved to our place. It was very difficult taking care of the folks because we really were housebound with them. As difficult as it was much of the time, it was an experience I would never trade. We feel truly blessed to have had that opportunity to serve them. Now we have my mom and feel the same blessing.

I love having my mom here and being able to part of her life. For many years we were only able to see each other a couple of times a year. I had prayed to have more time with her before she leaves this earthly state and have been truly blessed with this experience. She is a loving and wonderful mother. I know she feels like she has interfered with our lives but is most grateful to be here with me. She loves her home here (in the cottage). I know we will work something out where we can go on a vacation. Everything always works out in the end.

Being the caregiver for a loved one can be difficult but so rewarding. I know I get a little testy with some things she does. Her reasoning is very slow, her speech is getting stuttery, she thinks she can do things that she no longer can and I see that frustration but I just have to be patient and loving. Sometimes I find myself a little snippy. Yesterday I explained something to her like ten times and then at dinner she asked the question again. I was frustrated because I couldn't get her to understand but eventually she did. I do have to keep reminding myself to be nice. I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for this time with her. My prayers have been answered.

FH Blog - Boot Camp

I write a newsletter for my church concerning Family History.  I also have a blog that I refer members to but it is actually open to the public.  In my newsletters, I have a section I call Boot Camp. I try to help people with their family history.  So many would like to do family history but have no idea where to begin so these are some very basic lesson and ideas to help everyone with their family history. Remembering that we are actually living our family history now, there are some ideas on what to do now for future generations also.  Even though this blog is directed towards the people in my church and my city, it often will have some interesting information for everyone anywhere.  So HERE is the blog.

Most of my Boot Camp lessons will be referring to Family Search.  It is a wonderful FREE program with  World Wide Family Tree.  The Family Tree is Live - meaning if you add something to it, your relatives all over the world will be able to see it and use it right then.  I know most of us use a variety of Family Trees online but this one is FREE and Live which most are not.  One word of note is that it is mostly for the deceased.  Any living people information will not be viewable to others.  You can put living people into your tree but that will be the only thing others will not be able to see until those living in your tree are deceased. You can add photos, stories, videos, etc. that others will be able to see (for deceased people).  There is an awesome FREE search area and lots of FREE help.  Check out the blog for other information about Family Search.